Ignored Behavior Often
Becomes Accepted Behavior© 2015
“I was only kidding…Come ‘on, where’s your sense of humor? What, all of a sudden you don’t find that funny?”
Any or all of these responses sound familiar? These are some of the most common responses given to a person who has either been called a derogatory name, been purposely embarrassed to make someone else seem funny or witty, or has exhibited conduct that makes someone feel frustrated or diminished.
Often the person on the receiving end of this hurtful and in many instances abusive behavior, declines to say anything to their partner about the effects oftheir behavior in fear of not seeming “accepting” of them. However abuse begins with “red flags.” Red flags are warning signs that lead to further and in many cases more severe conduct. It’s vital to stop the snowball effect of disrespect.
It is essential for women and men to communicate to their partners what is hurtful and what embarrasses them publicly and privately. When behaviors border on or become abusive and they are not addressed immediately, the person acting out considers it acceptable behavior and considers it a part of the relationship. In short, Ignored Behavior Becomes Accepted Behavior.
Communication is an important part of the relationship process. Every person deserves respect and it is their responsibility to convey what is and what is not acceptable behavior. No one should fear a partner leaving them by simply conveying what hurts them. If your partner wishes to continue hurtful and disrespectful behavior and are unwilling to respect your wishes, move on withyour dignity in tow! There are countless people in the world who will be honored to be in a relationship with you!
If you are considering or beginning a new relationship, part of your conversations should be about what a healthy relationship looks like. Simply, if both people know the rules of the relationship before hand, there is less likely to be red flags and unhealthy behavior.
Think about it, how many people do you know invest in a personal relationship based on commonalities such as favorite movies, places visited and dreams? Define your relationship based on respect, communication and the power of like.