How To Stop Boys From Becoming ‘Me Too’ Perpetrators
A new study on teaching middle schoolers about sexual violence and dating abuse yields interesting clues.
The Me Too movement laid bare the ugly creep of gendered violence into every corner of society, from the classroom to the office to the comedy club. Now the next logical step in our national reckoning is to ask what can be done to prevent men from hurting women in the first place.
Recent Media Reports: Inapropriate Relationships between Teachers and Students
According to the Children’s Center for Psychiatry, Psychology and Related Services the most recent statistics (2017) should shake the core of any decent human being:
Of children in 8th through 11th grade, about 3.5 million students (nearly 7%) surveyed reported having had physical sexual contact with an adult (most often a teacher or coach). The type of physical contact ranged from unwanted touching of their body, all the way up to sexual intercourse.
This statistic increases to about 4.5 million children (10%) when it takes other types of sexual misconduct into consideration, such as being shown pornography or being subjected to sexually explicit language or exhibitionism.
Weight of the World
Written by Patrick McAllister Photo by Patrick McAllister Photography
Some of us walk around with the weight of the world on our shoulders. We carry pain, sadness, regret.. A lot of the weight we carry should have been laid down a long time ago, but we’re too critical of ourselves, to unforgiving of our mistakes or decisions. “If I would have just ignored their calls…” “If I would have just tried harder..” “If I wasn’t so this or that..” “If i did this differently or that differently..” We go through all of that mess in our heads. We live in regret. We live wishing we did things differently. We don’t allow ourselves to move past what we could have done or should have done. We carry all that mess on our shoulders and it stops us from moving freely. We hold the past in our hands and it disallows us to grab anything new. How many times have you promised yourself you would move on? Stop putting your progress off! You have to move on. You have to lay down the weight you’ve been carrying. Lesson learned. You’ve held yourself captive too long. It’s time to be free. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Give yourself room to grow, to change, to evolve.. We can be our own worst enemy at times. But, not anymore. Leave that in the past. Stand up straight. Drop all that mess you’ve been carrying and embrace the future. Forgive yourself.
HOW TO BE A MAN
An Open Letter From a Father to His Son
...So if I were to offer a list of my tips for how to be a man, it might look like this:
1. Take a long look in the mirror, and see the tender heart, the love, strength, and courage that make you a great person. See the brother that Tricia and Myleen see – the most incredible person they know.
2. Commit to love yourself, even when you don’t feel like it...
Texting and Humanness
Texting plays a role in the sexual harassment culture that has finally been exposed in every corner of the globe. This ignored and abusive behavior has been found to exist wherever humans inhabit: classrooms, work places, professional industries, politics and sports to name a few.
The American Media and Their Promotion of Voyeurism...
John Amodeo's commentary on the article
The Partner Project works to end the silence associated with relationship, domestic and dating violence through education, training, research and responsible action. The Partner Project promotes the importance of healthy relationships, personal safety and improved quality of life for those who suffer in silence.
The Partner Project offers:
Unique, interactive presentations for Middle School, High School and College-age students, workplaces & community organizations
Programs that address Bystander safety and intervention
Programs that address prevention and identification of sexual violence
Trauma Informed Training for 1st responders & Neurobiology of Trauma
Research Development & Implementation
Compliance Training for faculty, administrators, staff, Public Safety and Campus Police: Clery Act, Campus SaVE, VAWA, Title IX
Some Do's and Don'ts
Ask if something is wrong
Listen and validate
Support his or her decisions
Be a presence in their life
Wait for him or her to come to you
Judge or blame
Pressure him or her
Place conditions on your support
Adapted from: NYS Office for the
Prevention of Domestic Violence
Words of Hope and Courage
“My friends, whoever you are out there going through this, it's ok, it's ok to just be you and let it all out. The end result is that you will be blessed, blessed with more love inside of you and confidence in who you are and you do not have to search for acceptance or love, it finds you automatically.
Anatomy of an Unhealthy Relationship
Relationship Red Flags
A partner who...
Cycles of Relationships
What does yours look like?
The Partner Project
The Partner Project is about people developing relationships built on respect, patience and dignity. Healthy relationships support personal growth and safety which transcends into a life of meaning filled with many opportunities for success. The Partner Project is a collaborative effort to raise awareness about relationship violence through education, research and dialogue. The Partner Project is dedicated to those individuals who suffer in silence due to relationship violence.
The Partner Project offers educational programs that focus on these issues. Our programs are age-specific and incorporate a variety of interactive strategies.